Time in Letters

Short months soon become a short year.

And quite ironically,
That which you seek was found.
Not as expected, but regardless of fate,
It is what you wanted all along.

Now claim your debt, time.
Show your vastness to all.
You never end, don't you?

There is no way to stop you, to keep you right where I want.
Would you lie if I asked?
Or better yet, would I even dare ask?

Break me a second like June states midyear.
Give me a reason to repay tenfold your presents.
Coming stages will not be the same,
Without the time I knew...
Where time again I see through you and grasp nothing of your sense...

Fake me an hour like lunchtime forgotten.
Tell me why there is no joy when keeping your tracks.
Tomorrow will not be the same,
Without the time I knew...
Where time again I see through you and fail to see your purpose...

Take away a year like imprisonment steals life.
What determination you hold when trying to escape?
My cell will not be the same,
Without the time I knew...
Where time again I see through you and forget to take note...

Time, when did you pass by?

Uncertainties

If I could, I would tell you a secret,
If I could, I would show my shadows,
If I could, I would ask you of your demons,
If I could, I would do much...

I wonder what is it that binds me today?
For I know the truths that speed you.
And yet I am unaware of the truths that slow me.
Supervising an affair, never the goal.

Plans and roads to take, of which I asked...
None were replied.
I did not understand...
You wish to invest into a greater love...
Placed so much in the line without reason...

Asking too much in so little time...
Alas, you are brave one...
Yet, I need to see more... I need to feel more...

Now I know... After time has passed...
And yet you failed to notice...
Now you know... After all this time...
You closed the doors on your own...

Sunflower

Silently waiting... stalking with glances...
Undressing with thoughts...

'Anatomy', she said, 'is a passion of mine'.

Hungry lioness, reminds me of times forgotten.
When the early knife still was sharp
To unflesh the gallows in every gap.

Alas, but she comes with demons of her own!

Should she know the shadows that provoke me,
Or the devils that implore me...

She is cursed just like I...
But still her wounds go deeper than just the heart,
And yet her fear is reluctant of acknowledgment.

Will she ever see, will she ever know...
I wonder... oh yes... I wonder...

Her Story

Simply said:
There are no words I could offer.
No explanation that would comply.

She made up her mind...
She made up her truth...
Her fears rendered the reality she so much despised.

There is no true bond when fear is met
And repetition inevitably kills it all.

Just like oceans break the stone...

Just like wounds bleed undone...

She made up her story...
She made up her reasons...
Her fears rendered the thoughts that I portrayed.

There was no reason to salvage it
Even if hope still remained.

Just like a broken sword...

Just like a shattered hope...

Simply said:
There are none...

Gray

There are issues left behind, used matches.

Shift from white to black,
No gray in the middle, please.

My soul seems darker than before.
At least it matches, it figures.

Waiting is patience and thought:
True for truth-seekers.

An almost empty box.
Almost empty.

But one match is needed only... to light it all in flames...
And send the gray shadows away...

When They Leave

Deception for the faithful,
I steer a ship with no bearings.
If a friend's calling one can't take,
Escaping is the only mean of running.

For the deeper in the trace I fall,
The easier it lingers on my soul.
And, alas, my soul cannot be fooled,
Be it by others or myself,
When the calling was not my own.

Then dealing with my darkness,
I hear truths of sadness...
No loss, I say. For me, at least.

Yet the air that comes with each breath,
The toxins that enter here and there.
They shout... they proclaim...
Alas, today is simply another day...

But when your friends can't see the day,
And shadow down the unfitting path,
There are no words one can share
Which will deny the haunting they cry.

I hear their words, but can't relate.
The punishment was not theirs,
And the release is the truth we all will face.

Alas, I am numbed... I am numbed.

Life in a Box

We all seem to treat life differently,
And thus we all treat death differently.

I wonder why sadness is used
For moments such as these.

Why feel that that something was taken away?
If that person was not ours...

Am I cold? Or have I numbed my senses?

I feel no loss, but I feel the loss others feel.
That I cannot help.

And strangely enough, that is the only pain I can sense.

Still there are those who see the same as I,
Have seen less than I,
And will know less than I.

They cry... they suffer... yet I remain untouched.

I've been in this spot before...

Do I not see something they do?

I wonder why... I wonder if I'm holding something without knowing...

Not knowing, not feeling, not seeing...

I'm just sitting here inside my box...

Endlessly

There's a part of me you'll never know
The only thing I'll never show

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It's plain to see it's trying to speak
Cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
But the moment never comes

- Muse

Milestone Zero

We shared a thought
With no sun shining through

We danced to shadows
That said we never could

We always worked in unison

I set the knife in motion
And she plunged it deep

Deep within
Darkening me
Blinding

It's confusing not being able to measure
But knowing that something was lost

It's painful not being able to stop the flow
And see how the pieces are set back to where they started
Wondering what truly was lost when put back

Back to Milestone Zero

Where we had been so long ago
Where all began

One Step

One step...
Still too scared to take a second...

The sight follows when I'm alone.

I try to call, but I hear no answer.
Now I wonder how lost I've become.

One step...
Still too dark to see...

Visions and memories of broken dreams.

A path yonder lies surrounded with shadows.
There is only one way to find out where it leads.

One step...
Something inside still won't move...

The passing breeze leaves me behind.

This darkness is not my homeland.
This silence is not my own.

One step...
It's all that I need...

Towards the End of the Sea

If while night sailing...

The Moon comes shining...

Find no reason to feel sadness...


If while soul dreaming...

The End comes wanting...

Warm air will surely blow madness...


If while joy waiting...

Fate grants you flavoured thrilling...

You are undoubtly meant to break the stress...


And sail away,

Towards the Ends of the Sea.

Spiral Draw

Grab a pen and place the rhythm,

Words will flow into the hurts of the past
To let the grace be shown to all.

This is the place where throughts betray
And yet escape from it's inner cage.

Come pray with me.
There's so much healing to do.

A world contain between voice and drum,
Changing to the certain light of cruel findings.

Praise the spiral revolution that springs unraveling phrases into armony!

Come play with me.
There's so much destruction to perform.

Bow and be grateful.
My words behold your mark.

Fate

"I sense you so close,
But I can't touch you even if I reach out.
But even if I can't reach,
There are things that remain in my heart, right?

We lived at the same time and saw the same things.
As long as we remember that,
We can believe that we are one even if we are far apart.

I'll keep running, for the moment.
Because I should reach what I seek if I keep running."

- Shirou

The 25th Hour

Sound fondly flows down below underneath the glow,
Only shadows within shadows of running rocks.

Tic goes the clock, the hour to reborn had come.
This is the night where the heartbeat echoes.

One step from the edge, one foot from the grave.
The wave comes forth and the jump is made.

To fall so gracefully with outstretched arms.
To down take with force such a spec of trust
And separate a damned body...

...from a free soul.

Alas, a death foretold!

But still below no secret bestowed,
No grave filled and no tear spilled...
Only curse suppressed and rage undone...

Fake ends make Death seem less
When embracing all as one's own.

Free falling, free choice...

I can only say,
I took them as my own.

He Who Sits Beside

He is not human... That was a choice made by himself alone.
He has no heart... That was a choice he forged with deep wounds.
He cannot feel... That was a choice he took for his own.
He cannot die... That was a curse he won with his youth.
He broke all trust... That was a bond he did not ask.
He crushed your damned soul... Without feeling remorse.

He knew all along... He knew all along...
That the shadow was emerging from his own...

Silence... it is until now you realise...

Humanity... is for the humans...
Judgment... is for the gods...
And Freewill... is for the taking...

Songs for the Living

The drums had begun the rhythm that cannot be undone.
Hear the echo, hear the song, hear the image then shown.

Alas the four play at last!

Follow the spirit into the netherworld,
Into the shadow from where darkness dwells...

They play for the morning's dawn,
They play until the sun is born...

Alas the four play at last!

Flowing...
Running...
Showing...

The crescent beating subsides,
For minutes to pass hours, for hours to pass minutes...
Darkness dwells amongst the chords of hellish delight...

Alas the four play at last!

Hear me a word of reason...
Just one word...
One word...

One word! To recall while I sleep...
To remember when I meet...

Alas the four play at last!

Spiders and Snakes

Amazed and wondering the inside soul,
Heavy black gloves came close.

A tickle down my spine,
A numbing bewildered smoke!

Shadows passing by, ashes arising every step.

Like the hunter seeking prey,
Face to face they met.

Pondering spirits they were,
Thundering glances they exchanged.

But mere words were left only
And the intension was killed instead of prey.

There was a reason.
There was my resolution.
There was my choice.

- Crazy World 2007

Restless Nights, Building Dreams in the Dark

I watch her work the stairway
That naked feature shining down on her...
It feels she's so far away
Watching me just as I watch her...

Restless nights, building dreams in the dark.

Blood stained fingers tend to create
Trusted hopes that linger without fear...

I could speak my mind to steal her glance
Or invoke a lion of dreamlike thought,
Just to look deep within her eye once
And show the prey that had been caught.

Restless nights, build me dreams in the dark.

Heaven Came Upon Us

Stranded, the tide was moving in.
Lifted the covers overhead
And away the new sun was rising.

The window had been opened.
The fire had long been burning.
The sand was clear... for now.

Heaven brought down upon us,
Just to dream of the afterlife
While we were awake.

Oh, guardian of the fiery wood
Saluting the star painted sky.
Play us a song to ease the madness.

To recall the earthly night
Would be to bring the sweet delight,
That places pure of devilish fright

Still echo with silence...

Throughout the night.

- Esterillos March 2007 -

Beating Figures

She spoke in words of longing,
Did I answered in phrases of joy?
It was simply heartbeats flowing...

I cannot recall the day I felt,
You could not remember either...
Frozen iron ready to hammer and smelt.

You can now hear deep within the gorge:
Work it, I say, Master smith!
Bring together these dreams and forge!

Drumming... the echo goes forth running...
Up the river, down the hills,
Yet aforegoing to spend the silver.

So typical to those forgetful,
In their human nature,
To avoid remembering, to free their pores,
From those bad old deals, we all tend to come pay.

Did she speak words of longing?
I answered with phrases of gold...
They were worlds colliding.

One another into a heightened other.
She spoke, I walked...

I listened...
She followed...

A Shame No Quote

Today the voice was heard...
It came when the thought was unleashed.

Creative destruction at work.

For there is an art in picturing,
In planning...
In knowing, what can be done.

Something must have heard the thought...

Alas, so deaf I am... so ignorant...
Withdrew the focus as it spoke...

Never will I know the message.
Never will I know the means.

The moment passed without a quote to stand upon.

Would You Ever Step Aside

If you could shift the tides...

If you could make the river run backwards...

If you could stop the rain from falling...

Would you ever step aside,

And let it all flow?

Thoughts (The Flow)

Won't stop,
The flow continues.

Thoughts betray,
Angels wither.

Hostile acts scar:

Marks for the brave,
Punishment for the penitent,
Rage for the vengeful.

- Tears can Tear Tissue -

Wait and Listen

"Listening in the presence of the Horizon,
No demon speaks or walks..."


After all...
I am the riddles of a shaken mind.

Those, which sometimes you hear.
Whispers near the river, flowing constantly.

Searching word by word a way to sea...

Wanting calmly the solitude of the shore,
The dancing grace of sandy waves.

Listen to the coming of the tide...

Bringing news it always tells of stories
From distant lands...

Oh riddles of color-mind,
What next shall you spring to life?

Of Hearts and Tides

She came to me when I was there already.
She left, and I was then alone.
She came again to keep a promise.
She was there again to live the dream.
She finally came to see the truth...
Now... she waits.